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Men often define these women along evolutionary psychology lines—women who are sexually-selective, faithful, physically attractive, and have a pleasant, respectful disposition (for more on these qualities, see Buss, 2003 and my own articles here and here).Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.Socially, they are expected to be "compliant" (i.e. However, they are also urged by women's sexual interest to maintain an "attractive personality" (i.e. Unfortunately, men sometimes report that attempting to balance these notions does not result in satisfaction, happiness, or women's appreciation and respect.The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating.However, these men are often punished by being socially labeled as "jerks", "players", or even "creeps", unfit for socially-defined relationships.Furthermore, their tactics are often designated as "sexist" (Hall & Canterberry, 2011).Many of these tactics, however, primarily attract women who are focused on short-term flings with attractive men (see here).
In contrast, if they follow more "assertive" biological imperatives, they are labeled "jerks" and "players"—who may get sexual gratification, but not love or respect from what they would consider a "good woman".
These men may further be regarded as "just friends"—expected to pay for all of the costs of a relationship, without the physical and intimate benefits (see here).
In contrast, if men shun social pressures to be "nice" and follow what is biologically attractive, they have a higher likelihood of getting "sex partners".
We are all motivated to seek out rewards and avoid punishments (Skinner, 1974).
When rewards outweigh punishment, people perform behaviors.