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The French countryside was like something out of a storybook, the Roman ruins were magnificent, and the men, well, European men are by far the most romantic in the world.You American men all think you're so suave and sophisticated. European men make you look like the immature, inexperienced little children you are.Once, just for the hell of it, I told a psychology major from the University of Maryland that a public staircase was part of the Spanish Steps, which she'd never even heard of.Another time, I told this blonde from Michigan State that the public library was the Parthenon, and she cooed like I'd just given her a diamond.In fact, my Italian countrywomen could take me or leave me.But that's just fine, because Rome gets loads of tourist traffic, and American co-eds traveling through Europe are without a doubt the easiest lays in the world. I'm not sure why, but there's something about the accent that opens a lot of doors.
Afterward, he told me he loved his homeland even more now that he'd seen it through my eyes.
They know the places you can't find in any tourist guide.
They know the whole history of the cities in which they live—who the fountains are named after, who the statues are.
It's fun to see how much they'll swallow: As long as I refer to Italy as "my homeland" and other Italians as "my people," they'll believe pretty much anything.
I don't know who most of the local statues are, so I tell the muffins they're all great artists and poets and lovers.