Dating a week after breaking up
Up until the last second of our relationship he insisted that he still loves me. And no, I wasn't on there looking for anyone else, that's not what happened. And no, he wasn't on there before we broke up either. I don't understand why someone would insist they love you and say that they want things to work out but don't think they can, then go looking for someone else the next day. Is this a good method to recover from a loss like this for some people or something? You don't have the advantages of the hugs after a disagreement, or being able to see someones face or body language when they speak. When things got tough I tried to fix them and he was just at a loss and didn't know what to do anymore. And if they do, how could they be looking for someone else so soon? I feel that this is going to take me a long time to get over. Should I just keep trying despite the circumstances and how I feel? It's the only way you can truly see if someone is legit or not. I tried sooo hard to fix things but I couldn't fix them by myself.Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago.He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.Owning how vulnerable you really feel without chastising yourself for it, develops inner strength. Not willing to see the initial trauma as an experience from his past, he pushes it away.The defensive male can in this way release his over-identification with his suffering. The irony being that in that pushing away, he pulls the trauma closer to himself.But men who cannot own their fears and insecurities are more prone to them than most. Because they remind these men of the first time they felt that way.
A strong man doesn’t ask for help This is a deeply-engrained cultural expectation.
Yes, we’ve broken out of all men automatically being expected to express in this way, but the perception still persists.
How many comedian’s jokes are based on men refusing to seek help when they need it? Outside of the comedic sphere, the truth of this belief still commonly reveals itself: These type of thoughts plague any insecure or stressed person.
But feeling that pain, holding it in the body, letting the uncomfortable feelings rise and peak, is the way through.
Actively seeking support to stay in that pain while it rises is the solution. Deliberately letting your mask slip and being willing to accept the depth of your hurt begins the healing process.