But behaving in a helpful manner is quite a different story. Well I suppose it is easier to look at it from the opposite perspective and say what is not helpful.
Let’s say that your colleague is trying to outdo you to get a promotion and they are spreading rumours about you. It is not helpful to be cruel, demeaning, rude, bitchy, bossy, bullying, spiteful, hurtful, horrible, selfish, and vengeful.
You wanted to go to sea, but he jumped at the chance of accommodating your desire with a vengeance.
Even in his most accommodating mood he inspires a dread of treachery.
Not get caught in the tornado that this person creates and sucked into space to come crashing down afterwards.
When I was younger, I was just too nice and accommodating and that allowed people around me really take advantage of me. My feelings were always sacrificed for another’s happiness or needs. How am I going to find out what the reason is if I don’t allow the relationship to develop? Where do you draw the line between accommodating others and being abused.
There were many times I felt badly hurt and neglected and ignored. The whole new age movement is all for cutting people who don’t add to your happiness or success. Many life coaches, positive thinking representatives and personal growth guru’s are quite clear about how negative people drag you down. But yet there is that niggling at the back of my mind which has a problem with this approach. I believe that the people in my life are there for a reason.
Furthermore, at least 50% of the responsibility lies with me.
Any conflict consists of at least 2 parties after all. A few years back, I had a friendship which started to deteriorate and I really tried to accommodate her. I know enough about the psyche to know that to be truthful is very difficult, especially with yourself; unconscious complexes driving us to believe in a certain point of view often obscure any attempt at realising the “truth”.